Life Altering or Life Enhancing
A few years ago, I was selected to go to Haiti as part of a special project team for a company I used to work for. I was excited and anxious at the same time. I’d heard so many stories about Haiti—good and bad. Regardless, I felt blessed to have been given the opportunity to visit there and do some good work.
Before I departed for Haiti, I remember asking others about their experiences when doing volunteer work in Haiti or other countries. And, every single person to a person talked about how their time spent in impoverished countries had been ‘life altering’. All comments centered around being more grateful for the lifestyle and standard of living so many Americas are blessed to have. It made complete sense. So, I left for Haiti with open eyes and an enhanced receptivity to that country’s quest for a more dignified existence, especially after the January 2010 earthquake.
After eight days in beautiful Haiti, I too would later refer to my experience as ‘life altering’ because I thought it truly reflected my growth as a result of my visit. I had developed a deeper appreciation for infrastructure, clean water, safe environments, a strong economy, and the limitless opportunities that exist in this country. Yes, in my mind, my life had been altered.
Four months later, my mother passed unexpectedly at 67! It absolutely changed my definition of ‘life altering’. My sister and I were devastated. And, as time passed and the healing process began, I realized that I had been wrong about my take on my experience in Haiti. For me, it wasn’t ‘Life Altering or Life Expanding’. I had grown tremendously from that opportunity to help others. I had indeed stretched as an individual. But, for me it was a “Life Enhancing” experience not “Life Altering”. It absolutely reminded me of the wonderful blessings in my life. It was ‘Life Enhancing’ because it made me pause and stop taking all of the many things that are available to me by living in this wonderful country for granted. My gratitude was absolutely amplified.
However, when my Mom passed my life temporarily stopped! I had to completely reset my reality based on the fact that she would no longer be around. My life was altered and consequently expanded! It would be the first time in my entire existence that my mom would not be around. I was on the brink of being adrift but knew I had to take steps to remain anchored. I had to ferociously remember how her voice sounded; the twist in her hips as she strutted; faithfully heed to all of her advice and wisdom shared over the years; and remember all of the scriptures she had shared for inspiration. Yes, it was both life altering and life expanding. A real ‘about-face.’
In hindsight, I realized that we have to be very careful what we claim or how we characterize our life experiences. We have to embrace the fact that everyone looks through different lens based on his or her own perspectives and experiences. And, everyone’s ‘take-a-ways’ or ‘lessons learned’ vary. For me, I know recognize the distinct difference between having a ‘life altering or life expanding’ experience versus a ‘life enhancing’ one. While growth will result from both, the pain associated with each will be vastly different. I’m so grateful that I now know the difference.