The Stories We Live
Whose story are you living? The one that you have imagined for yourself or are you living your life based on someone’s else story for you. Sometimes it’s hard to tell and can be quite confusing and distressing. So much input from those around us -- our parents, our spouses, our kids, co-workers, television, social media, on and on and on. So much so that we often lose the clarity that we once had about who we are and how we wanted to go about living our own lives and stories.
For sure, it requires discipline and focus, but most importantly the courage to be authentic to simply be who we are. Yes, turning oneself inside out, in other words, being vulnerable, is not easy. We especially want those we care about to accept and embrace who we are and all of our majesty. That’s super scary and oftentimes we simply ‘go with someone else’s flow’ for the sake of peace. For me, living a lie and making others stories my own or being pulled into other stories is not the present or future I want to create for myself. Yet, it’s taken me years to realize I had suppressed much of my own story. Twenty-five years of marriage is indeed a blessing, and I’m thankful for my loving and supportive life partner. However, so much of our early years together I found myself ‘living his story’ versus living the life I truly wanted to live. Then came children and my life became secondary—this is common for so many parents. Once I became a mother, I was all about helping to raise our children in a loving, safe and harmonious home. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very aware of the conscious sacrifices I made for my family and I would do so again. I just wished I would have had the wisdom and skills to ‘pull up and out’ sooner.
During those times when I felt so overwhelmed, I would desperately fight for my own voice to be heard. And, when I thought my own voice overpowered those of my children, I would acquiesce again and again. Thank God for the teenage years when our children’s attitudes and need for independence compelled me to break out of this habit. I became super woke. It hit me like a bolt of lightning and reminded me that sooner or later I would have to return to me. That was the moment — like the lotus — I decided to re-bloom! I often wondered what I would find once I began the journey back to me. Would I still be there? Would my essential self be just below the surface or would I have to dig so very deep to reach the best parts of me that had been long buried? A wake-up call indeed. And, to make things more challenging, I would have to do all of this self-reflection and soul searching while supporting those I love most in the world who were experiencing their own rites of passages and various stages of transition.
For me, taking back the reins of my own life and being the author of my own story were not choices. It was a second chance at living on purpose and authentically. I knew I would have to to use ‘Truth’ as my lens. Not half-truths or someone else’s truth. Clean and simple truth based on my values — faith, spirituality, family, and strong sense of purpose. One thing I do know is that ‘Truth’ as your lens brings reality into check very quickly. It’s not always comfortable and can be painful given the unfiltered reflection. However, being honest with yourself and having the courage to look through the lens of truth will help you begin to reshape the essence of your own story. And this time, you can do so by saying ‘Yes’ to your own life story, and saying ‘No’ to being willingly, or unwillingly pulled into others’ stories. It’s liberating and fills you up with hope and optimism.
If we can just begin again, but this time with truth as our lens, can you imagine the contentment that you would feel? The alignment of inner (what we feel and desire most inside) and outer (how we live and express ourselves) would bring such meaning, peace, self-discovery, and purpose. And, of course, love would be there because when we show up authentically, offer compassion, and keep ourselves open to good, ‘Love Simply Is’ and never fades.
“The lotus flower blooms most beautifully from the deepest and thickest mud.”