“Forgiveness”
Most of us know the power of and peace that comes from forgiving others and ourselves from intentional and unintentional hurts. There was a point in my life where I thought forgiveness was a gift or privilege that was earned. Did the offender deserve to receive my forgiveness? If they continued to hurt others, why should I forgive them? All as if my forgiveness was a gift to them versus the reality that it would be a blessing to me. It was always about my own divinity and grace.
As a daughter, I always marveled at our mother’s ability to forgive. It was truly awe inspiring to witness this growing up as a child. And, as she became older and wiser, her forgiveness was always accompanied with patience and grace. My marveling never stopped, as time and time again, our mother would offer this amazing gift to others and to herself. It was only after her death in 2013 that I truly understood the power of this magnificent lesson our mother had imprinted on our hearts. It’s the one lesson I hope to learn well one day.
During the different phases of my lie, I simply couldn’t image forgiving others for wrong doings. And, when I did, it took a very long time. I didn’t comprehend that by postponing forgiveness, I was delaying my own growth and deliverance. While I would ultimately forgive others, forgiving myself came after much trepidation. It was so ridiculous. I would be really hard on myself. I naively thought that severe castration would insure that I never, ever repeated the offense. What I’ve learned is that Love precedes, accompanies, and follows it all. It’s foundational to forgiveness, especially when forgiving one’s self. When love fills you up, there’s little room for nonsense or other things that aren’t meant to align us with our true purpose.
Learning to forgive is a life long practice and one that I try to practice everyday. Besides, life always provides us with plenty of opportunities to forgive...
…The rude sales associate at the store
…The impatient customer service representative
…Ourselves for eating that extra piece of chocolate cake
…A disrespectful teenager
…An inconsiderate spouse
…A friend who never paid back that loan
…A work colleague who took credit for your idea / work
…Ourselves because we slept instead of going to the gym
…A sibling who borrowed your jacket and never returned it
…A boss who constantly ignores your contributions
…Ourselves because we gave that special someone another chance to hurt us
…An ex who simply tries to make your life hell on earth
…A friend who has betrayed a confidence
…A pet that has soiled your beautiful area rug
…A neighbor who has tainted your peaceful neighborhood
The list could go on and on and on. In truth, God gives us ample opportunities to learn the practice of forgiving. To forgive is to become closer to our own divinity and brilliance within. And, when we do sincerely forgive, the grace that follows fills us like an inhaled breath that once exhaled, the release is peace and love that could only be reminiscent of God’s love, acceptance, and forgiveness.