Seeing Life Through Heaven's Eyes

Seeing Life Through Heaven's Eyes

I recently found myself watching the “Prince of Egypt”, an animated film by Dreamworks®.  It was quiet in my house and late at night so there were no text messages or emails to read.  As I intently watched this inspirational film, I began to deeply appreciate the story and the beautiful animation.  The movie was released in 2006.

As I watched, I found myself particularly drawn to the song, “Through Heaven’s Eyes”, lyrics written by Stephen Schwartz.  While I enjoyed all of the music, this one song really struck a cord, and as I intently listened to each and every word, tears began to stream down my face.   In that moment, I gained complete clarity and instantly felt a sense of peace and joy.  It was amazing!  And, all of this from a cartoon!

I rewound the video a few times to really listen to each word and phrase from the lyrics. I thought how profound the words were.  My favorite phrase, ”If a man loses everything he owns, has he truly lost his worth?  Or is it the beginning of a new and brighter birth?”  Yes!  I exclaimed, exactly.  Looking at our lives through Heaven’s eyes (as the song would suggest) has the ability to elevate us (spirit and attitude) in ways that enable us to see the bigger picture and bring wonderful context to all that’s good and purposeful in our life and the world.  What a wonderful way to see and interpret our lives.   

Another verse, “No life can escape being blown about by the winds of change and chance”, reminds us that everyone faces change and different (and difficult) circumstances.  Of course, we can choose to embrace this change and chance with hope and optimism or we can resist it and engage in a painful tug of war that ultimately breaks us or compromises our quality of life, all because we are uncomfortable with change.  The lyrics continue and suggest that while we perhaps think we don’t have the capacity to change, we must adapt and believe in our potential to be successful, “…And though you never know all the steps, you must learn to join the dance.”  To simply embrace the dance of our own lives, regardless of its beat or how others might perceive it, is true rhythm!   We must have the courage to be ourselves and dance to the beats of own wonderful lives.

While I know many of us conceptually and intellectually undertand the principles expressed here, it’s so difficult to be brave enough to truly clutch and live.  Imagine how our perspectives would change if we viewed our lives through heaven’s eyes.  To see the good and the gift it can offer others. 

Another verse reminds us to truly appreciate those things in our lives that truly matter and that money cannot buy, “…a lake of gold in the desert sand is less than a cool fresh spring…” How many wake up calls have you had about what really matters in your life?  I’ve had plenty.   Let’s go dance and while we dance, let’s look at our lives ‘Through Heaven’s Eyes’.

The lyrics have been provided below for your enjoyment:

“Through Heaven’s Eyes”

Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz

A Single thread in a tapestry-

Though its color brightly shine

Can never see its purpose

In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top

Of the mountain’s might face-

Does it think it’s more important

Than the stones that form the base?

So, how can you see what your life is worth

Or where your value lies?

You can never see through the eyes of man

You must look at your life,

Look at your life through heaven’s eyes

A lake of gold in the desert sand

Is less than a cool fresh spring-

And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy

Is greater than the richest king.

If a man loses everything he owns,

Has he truly lost his worth?

Or is it the beginning

Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man-

In wealth or strength or size?

In how much he gained or how much he gave?

The answer will come to him who tries

To look at his life through heaven’s eyes

And that’s why we share all we have with you,

Though there’s little to be found.

When all you’ve got is nothing,

There’s a lot to go around.

No life can escape being blown about

By the winds of change and chance,

And though you never know all the steps,

You must learn to join the dance

So, how do you judge what a man is worth?

By what he builds or buys?

You can never see with your eyes on earth-

Look through heaven’s eyes

Look at your life

Look at your life

Look at your life through heaven’s eyes!

Choose Reality

Choose Reality

I don't know about you but I sometimes default to living in fantasy by ignoring my responsibilities, pressing topics, or the “should's”.   Living in fantasy can be so convenient especially when you feel compelled to suspend reality because life seems to be too much. We have to be very careful on how much time we spend in a state of fantasy because a prolonged stay can bring more havoc and discord into our lives.  And, while there, you can also distance yourself from God because God lives in the present and in reality.

When I was younger, I would willingly go into this space because I believed it was where happiness and contentment resided.  Truth is, this very behavior was counter-productive, and the process itself undermined my confidence.  Conversely, whenever I found the courage and discipline to simply deal with my life--the good, the bad, and the ugly-- I found that I felt closer to God.  It was, and continues to be, both humbling and reassuring.

While most media sources imply that pursuing fantasy, consuming in excess, and/or seeking the lifestyles of the rich and famous are the keys to peace, satisfaction, and happiness, I disagree. The peace and love that comes from connecting with God in the here and now or in those quiet moments where you can almost hear His voice are the keys to realizing peace, harmony, and contentment. 

It's what we experience in those quiet moments that I believe enhances our spirituality in ways that frees us from the superficial and reminds us of our own divinity. Perhaps it’s odd but finding the courage to ‘face the music’ or ‘deal with’ reality puts us closer to God.  It’s a reckoning that’s both cleansing and liberating.

We must also be careful not to fantasize too much about fantasying because it prevents us from living our lives in the now.  It’s so easy to escape via TV, Social Media, etc.  Of course, the emotional payoff can be immediate, albeit temporary, and the benefit seems so worthwhile.  Then, poof it’s gone!  So, we have a choice, deal with the reality of our lives no matter what that looks like or return to fantasyland.  Unfortunately, many choose to return to fantasyland and seek emotional validation through outside sources because it's quick and easy.  And, they attempt to absorb as much as humanly possible.  What’s sad is that it never lasts, and the very act of depending on outside sources to validate ourselves just makes us more insecure and lonely. 

I’d say choose to be real and live in reality.  Be present.  Make the hard choices to own your own life.  Surround yourself with people who bring light to your life and inspire you to be your very best.   Let others drift away who are negative and distract you from being you.  Be brave enough to be, to fully live, in reality, and you will realize that God has been there all along waiting for you. Choose Reality!

"Life Altering or Life Enhancing"

Life Altering or Life Enhancing

A few years ago, I was selected to go to Haiti as part of a special project team for a company I used to work for.  I was excited and anxious at the same time.  I’d heard so many stories about Haiti—good and bad.  Regardless, I felt blessed to have been given the opportunity to visit there and do some good work. 

Before I departed for Haiti, I remember asking others about their experiences when doing volunteer work in Haiti or other countries.  And, every single person to a person talked about how their time spent in impoverished countries had been ‘life altering’.  All comments centered around being more grateful for the lifestyle and standard of living so many Americas are blessed to have.  It made complete sense.  So, I left for Haiti with open eyes and an enhanced receptivity to that country’s quest for a more dignified existence, especially after the January 2010 earthquake. 

After eight days in beautiful Haiti, I too would later refer to my experience as ‘life altering’ because I thought it truly reflected my growth as a result of my visit.  I had developed a deeper appreciation for infrastructure, clean water, safe environments, a strong economy, and the limitless opportunities that exist in this country.  Yes, in my mind, my life had been altered.

Four months later, my mother passed unexpectedly at 67!  It absolutely changed my definition of ‘life altering’.  My sister and I were devastated.  And, as time passed and the healing process began, I realized that I had been wrong about my take on my experience in Haiti.  For me, it wasn’t ‘Life Altering or Life Expanding’.  I had grown tremendously from that opportunity to help others.  I had indeed stretched as an individual.   But, for me it was a “Life Enhancing” experience not “Life Altering”.  It absolutely reminded me of the wonderful blessings in my life. It was ‘Life Enhancing’ because it made me pause and stop taking all of the many things that are available to me by living in this wonderful country for granted.  My gratitude was absolutely amplified. 

However, when my Mom passed my life temporarily stopped!   I had to completely reset my reality based on the fact that she would no longer be around.  My life was altered and consequently expanded!  It would be the first time in my entire existence that my mom would not be around.  I was on the brink of being adrift but knew I had to take steps to remain anchored.   I had to ferociously remember how her voice sounded; the twist in her hips as she strutted; faithfully heed to all of her advice and wisdom shared over the years; and remember all of the scriptures she had shared for inspiration.   Yes, it was both life altering and life expanding.  A real ‘about-face.’

In hindsight, I realized that we have to be very careful what we claim or how we characterize our life experiences.  We have to embrace the fact that everyone looks through different lens based on his or her own perspectives and experiences.  And, everyone’s ‘take-a-ways’ or ‘lessons learned’ vary.  For me, I know recognize the distinct difference between having a ‘life altering or life expanding’ experience versus a  ‘life enhancing’ one.  While growth will result from both, the pain associated with each will be vastly different.   I’m so grateful that I now know the difference.

"Be Responsible for Your Own Cup"

“Be Responsible for Your Own Cup” 

It’s dangerous always seeking the approval of others.  It can distract you from your core and from what really matters.  It’s very misleading.  Initially, you’re consciously aware and enjoy the approval of others and it feels great.   Eventually, it can begin to take over and become more and more important to you.  And, before you know it, all you can think of is what others’ might think, say, or do.  And your frustrations begin to grow and once this happens, it’s as though your own ideas and thoughts become irrelevant.  Things become fuzzy.  Its now hard to distinguish what’s what, and what’s worse is that during this time of fuzziness and fogginess, you start to feel incredibly tender and vulnerable.  Instinctively, you knew you were drifting away from your own course and core but you did it anyway because you were quite aware of your choice to absorb other’s approval, etc.  This causes you to doubt yourself and your confidence begins to wane.  It’s like you’ve been seduced in some way, and in the midst of the seduction, it was wonderful.

Unfortunately, these moments of surrender can turn into hours, days, and months and even years of seeking other’s approval.  You look up and you’re no longer living your life for You!  You’ve somehow grown to interpret and accept others’ opinions and approvals as your own.  And, they’ve defined your life.  When and if you arrive in this place of being defined by others and their approvals, your cup simply doesn’t seem to ever get full.  No matter how hard you try, it’s forever empty and you end up carrying this emptiness around.  Not only is this emptiness heavy, it’s quite disorienting.  And when you do take time to pause and step away, you can’t remember how you even got here.  You just know it hurts and the emptiness is overwhelming.  This is when you have to take a deep breath, exhale, and find the courage to retake ownership of your cup!  To do this you must look at your cup through your own lens, no one else’s.  You must also accept the fact that you might have to begin gain.  It’s okay.  We all do it.  It’s really about how quickly do we snap out of this false sense of validation and surrender---living for the approval of others.  We have to own our own cup and its contents!

So, if your cup is empty, this would be a good time to wash it out.  Go ahead, it’s empty anyway.   Clean it out---squeaky clean and then start over.  This time, fill it with love, wonder, and with all the possibilities that exist within you and are beautiful.   For those around you offering up positive or negative comments or opinions, you can recognize them but don’t absorb them.  Appreciate them and let them float pass you, and whatever you do, be mindful of how much you allow them to add to your cup.  Your cup is sacred and is for you and God to fill, no one else.  You must be responsible for what you allow in your cup.

Fill your cup with love, acceptance, and peace that are available to you from You!  Fill it with the joys of loving others, from experiencing the amazingly beauty found in nature, and from God’s love, strength, and grace.   Fill it with the knowing that God’s love and forgiveness surround you and fills you and your cup---every single nanosecond of each day.   It’s your cup.  Love it.  Tend to it.  Fill it with only good.  Hold it tight.

"Courage to Begin Again"

“Courage to Begin Again”

I know we all interpret experiences differently and that our recoveries from ‘not so positive’ experiences vary for each person.  And, as we go through life it’s not always clear which experiences will truly redirect or redefine our journeys. 

For some, its not the one event or experience that causes devastation but the compilation of several disappointments and hurts compounded by fear that causes us to go into a tailspin and challenges us with defeat.  This is when we can feel devastation.  I must confess the word, devastation, has always been frightening to me because it conjures up utter pain and heartache in my mind.  It’s never been a word that I’ve used lightly or often.  I have the utmost respect for its meaning and impact.

The pain that comes from devastation can feel as tough your heart is truly breaking and your insides shiver from shock.  This has been my experience at least.  But, I can tell you this, if you can hold on and feel what you need to feel and forgive, you will get through it.  And, when you get to the other side, you will be amazed at your own strength, resolve, and resilience.  You will also have an undeniable knowing that there is a God and HE loves you---always has and always will.  I believe God guides and encourages us to be brave enough to begin again.  It can be scary to think about what it means to start over.  But, sometimes it’s the only thing to do.  Our only recourse.  It’s so intimidating to think about.  But, once you accept this idea and find the courage to ‘start over’, it really does lift you up and out of the fray and chaos.   To love and believe in ourselves enough to take that first step toward a new beginning is not only affirming, it expresses the incredible hope we all hold inside.  When we can simply accept the gift of starting over, there’s a wonderful serenity that fills us up and real healing can begin.  It prepares us for the next phase of our journey. 

As spiritual beings, we are capable of so much!  I, for one, refuse to believe in anything else.  To be blessed with the chance to begin again by graciously letting go and surrendering all that has been lost provides us with an incredible opportunity to transform our lives and start a new narrative.  We can choose to begin again with love, peace, hope and acceptance.  One of my favorite proverbs epitomizes this transformation,  “Just when the caterpillar thought its world was over, it became a butterfly.”  We all have the potential to become butterflies.

So, go ahead…turn around…face the sun…open your eyes and begin again.

"March in Michigan"

"March in Michigan" 

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

Oh, March in Michigan

Beautiful

Frigid

And always hopeful.

The bare trees with their erratic, stark branches

Stretch in all directions

Perennially reaching for something more

And always upward

The snow covered fields, hardened, glitter from ice’s radiance

And we are reminded of winter’s waning touch

Within its grasp is the promise of spring

And this thaws the snow, in our minds, and

Warms the heart 

March in Michigan

Compels us to hope

And we gleefully embrace the truth

That spring is near

March in Michigan can be so beautiful, especially on sunny days, which are oftentimes rare during the long winter months.    And, when there’s a sunny day, we take a deep breath and appreciate every nanosecond of the sunshine.  When you see the sunbursts reflected on snow covered fields or see the rich shadows of nearby trees, you’re reminded to be grateful for the beauty in all things, everywhere. 

Even the stark, bare tree branches are divine, offering multitudes of the color brown which create a mosaic that’s simple and ever so beautiful.  And, there’s the ice-capped snow that’s crunchy and hard and so often inconvenient.  Yet, magical as it glimmers and reflects amazing light.  To be thankful for whatever you have, wherever you are is the lesson here, and it brings such satisfaction and wonderment.   If you allow yourself to experience such deep appreciation, you will venture into that eluding yet peaceful state called the present moment.  It’s where real magic happens, the present moment.  And, for me, it’s one of the spiritual benefits of my choice to live here.

Living in Michigan accentuates the promise of spring and a much welcomed new beginning. We are reminded that change is our constant companion.   So, wherever you are, let the promise of spring fill you with hope and discovery.  Embrace the idea that the patience and resolve we’ve all had to show--during the most difficult months of old man winter’s visit--will be rewarded with easier days and pathways.  Let’s welcome the newness that comes with spring and the chance of being and doing better this time around.  

"Taking Time"

“Taking Time” 

When was the last time you did absolutely nothing or completely unplugged from your world of electronic devices?  I recently read an article on NPR.org entitled, “Bored…And Brilliant?  A Challenge to Disconnect From Your Phone” by the NPR Staff. 

The article confirms what I’ve believed for years.   It’s nice to have additional scientific evidence that ‘unplugging’ is a good thing.

Several years ago, I instituted ‘No Electronics Day’ or N.E.D. at home.  Our kids had a real fit.  It was unfair and unnecessary in their minds.  You should have heard all of the ranting, raving, and stomping.  However, I didn’t care because I knew it would bring a refreshed perspective and new dynamism to our family.  The fact that N.E.D. day was just one day per week (usually Wednesdays) didn’t dissuade our kids' complaining; however, it gave me additional leverage because I could highlight the fact that they had six whole other days to enjoy their electronics!

So, when we started with N.E.D. days it was very jerky at first, and I had to constantly remind our three kids of the rules---no electronics whatsoever, no TV, no video games, no cell phones, nada.  You can read, play board games, write, play outside, but absolutely no electronics because it was N.E. D. Day!  “OMG” was all we heard in the beginning.  It was like the world was ending.

As we settled into our weekly N.E.D. days, of course the entire tempo in the house changed.  The kids played more together, talking, laughing and being more in the moment.  That awkward silence because everyone was on their electronic devices disappeared.  Now, the house was full of gleeful and at times, not so gleeful, chatter.  It was so rewarding to see the kids reading, writing stories, engaging with each other, or playing soccer outside.

Of course, as part of this new weekly tradition, the kids thought that N.E.D. day should be for everyone, including Mom and Dad.  While I complied because I believed in creating positive shared experiences, their Dad refused and evoked his executive power as a parent to be excluded.  This of course didn't go over well with the kids.  However, the fact that I was ‘all in’ helped to pacify the situation.

As parents, I believe we have to find creative ways to help our kids ‘unplug’ and to tune in to their own magic and optimize the joy that comes from truly engaging with others.  While N.E.D. was one solution for my family, there are so many other options out there for families who’d like to create a different dynamic in their homes.  Sure, it might be uncomfortable because there’s so much resistance from the kids, and the complaining and whining can be overwhelming.  However, stick to your guns and do what’s best for your family.  Your children will benefit tremendously and connect better with each other---whether or not they know it or not.  It could take a few years before they fully appreciate this noble parental gesture. 

Now, at 21 and 17, our kids always provide cheshire cat smiles whenever we bring up N.E.D days. Perhaps they've haven't come to appreciate our efforts yet.  However, I have no doubt that they will some day.  So, for all those adults out there with or without children, start your own N.E.D day tradition and watch the peace and creativity flow.

"I Heard You!"

“I Heard You!

My mother taught me so many lessons.  I'm so glad I grew to really appreciate them and to come to know them as blessings.   Most importantly, I’m so grateful that I learned how to deeply appreciate Mom for who she was and not for who I wanted her to be long before her passing in 2013.  She was a beautiful woman with desires, some regrets and endless amounts of love.  How does a child, at any age, ever effectively articulate the countless lessons a parent bestows upon them? These lessons sooth you like a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day and cools your entire existence in instant relief and comfort.  To exhale is to simply accept.  It’s a constant that fills and follows us no matter where we go.  Sure, it’s not visible, but it’s there and it connects us in love and reminds us of where we came from and that we ‘got back’!

This month was the two-year anniversary of our Mom’s passing.  So, February has become a difficult month to bear.  I’m so thankful it’s a short month :-)  I miss my Mom so much.  I miss hearing her voice.  I miss her sense of humor and her no nonsense point of view.   I miss her constant and timely spiritual advice and the perfect scriptures she would suggest that I read to feel better about anything!  I know she was and will always be an angel watching over me and guiding me albeit not in the physical world.  As I reflected this month on the many lessons Mom taught me, I feel that I must acclaim, “Mom, I heard You!”  “I heard You!”  “I heard You!”

I heard you when you taught me about always offering forgiveness no matter what.  I heard you when you taught me to take my spirituality seriously and to let God know He's glorious, to always give thanks, and to pay my tithes.  I heard you when you stressed to me to always have the courage to speak the truth regardless of my or others’ discomfort.  I heard you when you said to always care about my appearance and to carry myself with class no matter the circumstance.  I heard you when your infectious laugh filled the entire house and we were reminded to remember to let go and have fun.  I heard you when you constantly offered unconditional love to those around you.  I heard you.  I know all of your lessons helped shape me for who I am today, however, I must admit that your lessons around unconditional love truly defined me!  They brought me peace, and validated my very existence.  It was this love that filled me up and reaffirmed to me that I am a child of God and capable of doing anything.  I heard You!

As I approach each and everyday, I am thankful for all the lessons Mom taught me and I feel extremely blessed that God saw fit to touch my life with a woman as wonderful as Mom.  

Mom, I heard You!  I heard You!  I heard You!

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness”

Most of us know the power of and peace that comes from forgiving others and ourselves from intentional and unintentional hurts.  There was a point in my life where I thought forgiveness was a gift or privilege that was earned.  Did the offender deserve to receive my forgiveness?  If they continued to hurt others, why should I forgive them?  All as if my forgiveness was a gift to them versus the reality that it would be a blessing to me.  It was always about my own divinity and grace.

As a daughter, I always marveled at our mother’s ability to forgive.  It was truly awe inspiring to witness this growing up as a child.  And, as she became older and wiser, her forgiveness was always accompanied with patience and grace.  My marveling never stopped, as time and time again, our mother would offer this amazing gift to others and to herself.   It was only after her death in 2013 that I truly understood the power of this magnificent lesson our mother had imprinted on our hearts.   It’s the one lesson I hope to learn well one day.

During the different phases of my lie, I simply couldn’t image forgiving others for wrong doings.  And, when I did, it took a very long time.   I didn’t comprehend that by postponing forgiveness, I was delaying my own growth and deliverance.  While I would ultimately forgive others, forgiving myself came after much trepidation.  It was so ridiculous.   I would be really hard on myself.   I naively thought that severe castration would insure that I never, ever repeated the offense.   What I’ve learned is that Love precedes, accompanies, and follows it all.  It’s foundational to forgiveness, especially when forgiving one’s self.  When love fills you up, there’s little room for nonsense or other things that aren’t meant to align us with our true purpose.

Learning to forgive is a life long practice and one that I try to practice everyday.  Besides, life always provides us with plenty of opportunities to forgive... 

…The rude sales associate at the store

…The impatient customer service representative

…Ourselves for eating that extra piece of chocolate cake

…A disrespectful teenager

…An inconsiderate spouse

…A friend who never paid back that loan

…A work colleague who took credit for your idea / work

…Ourselves because we slept instead of going to the gym

…A sibling who borrowed your jacket and never returned it

…A boss who constantly ignores your contributions

…Ourselves because we gave that special someone another chance to hurt us

…An ex who simply tries to make your life hell on earth

…A friend who has betrayed a confidence

…A pet that has soiled your beautiful area rug

…A neighbor who has tainted your peaceful neighborhood

The list could go on and on and on.  In truth, God gives us ample opportunities to learn the practice of forgiving.  To forgive is to become closer to our own divinity and brilliance within.  And, when we do sincerely forgive, the grace that follows fills us like an inhaled breath that once exhaled, the release is peace and love that could only be reminiscent of God’s love, acceptance, and forgiveness. 

"The Power of Resetting"

"The Power of Resetting"

Recently, I was having trouble getting my various devices synced with WIFI at home.  I tried everything to no avail.  My husband, our family's Apple guru, was unavailable to answer my questions or help solve the problem.  After getting very frustrated, I concluded it was his fault.  This blame lasted about 5 minutes and then I realized I was being quite unreasonable.  

As I continued to struggle with our home technology, I thought about an online chat with Apple; however, by this point, I knew I wouldn’t be a friendly customer.  So, I decided to table the issue for now.  Luckily, there were plenty of non-tech things to do, so I shifted my focus to other activities.  It was a welcome diversion.

The next day as I calmly asked for help from my husband, he shared a simple solution---'just reset'.  I expressed my fears about losing data and how this fear kept me from taking such action.  As he explained the benefits of re-setting and when to ‘reset’, it dawned on me that I'd been enduring frustration and elevated blood pressure unnecessarily, all because I refused to take any risks (risks in my mind) to solve the problem.   It was a simple solution that only took courage.  Incidentally, I did offer a heartfelt confession to my husband by admitting that I initially blamed him for my technology issues.  He was thrilled and relieved to know that I had reached the conclusion that he was NOT to blame on my own, without any drama or attitude. 

As the evening waned down, I started to imagine the release and peace from re-setting my life. What if each of us could simply 'reset' our lives when… 

We’re tired and weary, reset.

We’re exhausted because we've turned all possible stones, reset.

We’re running on empty because we've been burning the candles on both ends for way too long, reset.

We’re exasperated because our expectations are too high, reset.

We’re constantly disappointed because we don’t accept others for who they are, reset!

A  'reset' button would be a wonderful ‘secret weapon’ for starting over and getting back to center.  Visualize the peace and tranquility that would result from creating such a clean slate out of love, respect, and truth.  I believe we each have the ability to activate our individual ‘reset’ buttons anytime if we listen intently to our hearts and have the courage to simply begin.  A shift in attitude, surrounding oneself with positive people, only allowing the good stuff in, finding time to pray or meditate, being good to your body--all of these things could help anyone of us to ‘reset’.  Wouldn’t that feel good, marvelous!  For me, it reinforces the notion that each of us has the ability to change our lives for the better at any moment, and when we do, God’s love will become even more ever-present.  We just have to remember the power we possess and listen to the infallible truth our heart speaks.  Ready, set, “RESET”!

"Like A Star"

“Like A Star”

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

I’m not a scientist by any means.  However, I continue to learn from those around me.  Recently, my husband, a high school science teacher, described the effects of a collapsing star and the ultimate creation of a black hole.  The vast and infinite nature of a black hole simply stretches beyond my comprehension.

The image of a collapsing star formed such a powerful image in my mind.  I believe we can use it as an analogy for what could happen to our own lives if we withdraw from who we are and the life we’ve been given.  For me, withdrawal from my authentic self could look like many things but the most frightening image is that of my life collapsing into a black hole.

When we retreat from making decisions that will set us free, we risk collapse.  When we oppress our voice and not speak our truth, we risk collapse.  When we choose to compromise ourselves because we’re trying to please others, we risk collapse.  When we look away when everything within our being says “LOOK”, we risk collapse.  When we avoid doing those ‘required’ mundane and uncomfortable tasks that help us bypass drama, we risk collapse.  When we ignore what's best for our body, we risk collapse.  When we simply put our heads in the sand and not face each and every day with courage and optimism, we risk collapse.

It’s so easy to withdraw.  For me, it’s often been a conscious choice because I saw it as being necessary for renewal.  But what I’ve learned is that ‘long term withdrawal’ is dangerous and can be a facade for an unhealthy existence.  And, if you’re not careful, you’ll concave so much that you will begin the inevitable collapse and drift into that vast emptiness known as the black hole.  And once this happens, I believe it’s so difficult to find our way back to ourselves.  To continue my analogy, scientists say that anything that passes within the boundary of a black hole is trapped forever.   How frightening is that?!  So, we have to be diligent and take responsibility for our own star’s health and brilliance.  Imagine your own life as a brilliant star, and everyday that you love and live in truth, your star shines brighter!  Isn't this an amazing concept filled with wonder, imagination, and infinite possibilities?  

We must remain mindful of who we are and what we stand for.  We must commit to living on purpose and with courage.   We must find ways to take positive steps toward living the life we are meant to live, to make the daily decisions that enhance our lives, to express our voices so that we are heard, and to do what’s right because it’s right. 

Let’s be who we are meant to be and embrace the brilliance within.

Awake

Awake

I went to sleep as a

Mother

Wife

Daughter

Sister

Aunt

Friend

Career Woman

I awoke as a Spiritual Being

on a wonderful journey

with GOD.

"Resilience"

Resilience

By Sheila Thornton Warfield

I love the word Resilience.  I remember a close friend calling me ‘resilient’ years ago because of my ability to bounce back from a bad relationship.   While I didn’t quite appreciate the compliment, I was proud that I found the way to recover and move forward.  However, as I’ve matured, I’ve come to hold this word and what it means in the highest esteem.  As spiritual beings all we need to do is look at the world around us and we’ll see all of God’s creation manifesting ‘resilience’ everywhere with grace…

In a child’s ability to push through infant time

In the trees ability to sway back and forth during a strong wind yet returning to center

In young adults who may stumble and perhaps fall but always get back up and refuse to be beaten

In seniors who manage to hang on and remain prayerful when they have to say goodbye to so many loved ones on their long life’s journey

You see it in animals and their tenacity to be present and give you their love and attention regardless of the hurdles

You see it in athletic teams as they overcome challenges and frustrations to give it their all until the final whistle blows

You see resilience demonstrated every single day in different people when they show up to work in spite of grieving the loss of a loved one or a severed relationship or having family issues or struggling with financial matters or dealing with health issues.  The resilience that resides in each of us is a reminder of how truly magnificence we are as spiritual beings.  And, our potential is simply without limits.

You see it everywhere and it can be ever-present in each of us if we simply believe in our ability to endure, overcome and prevail for ‘Center’ IS always there.  I believe it’s synonymous with our spirit, and it’s ever present and waiting for us to open ourselves to receive it---if we don’t talk ourselves out of it or adopt what others say or do as our template that is.

So, step back, recognize, and embrace your RESILIENCE.  It will be reaffirming and it will provide you with the confidence to take that next step.  For, YOU are Resilient!

"Being IN it but not OF it!"

“Being ‘In’ it but not ‘Of ‘ it”

By Sheila T Warfield

Years ago as I grew deeper into my career, I remember feeling as though what I oftentimes saw and experienced in corporate America were incongruent with my beliefs and values.  I struggled with making sense of it all.

If I truly believed in integrity, treating others with dignity and respect, being fair, and working hard, how could I stomach working in an environment that lacked much of what I valued most. 

After prayer and much contemplation, I had an epiphany:  I can be “in” it but not “of” it.  It was a spiritual breakthrough for me.  I could work in corporate America and be true to my values.  I would work hard and exemplify honesty and integrity regardless of my surroundings.

I was so relieved because I loved working, and I knew I had to be the person I believe God intended for me to be.  I would have to find the courage to be me in spite of my circumstances. 

Twenty years later, I can honesty say that this philosophy became a guiding principle that helped me make peace with being ‘in’ a place but ‘not’ necessarily ‘of’ it.   I didn’t have to embrace the attitudes or behaviors that were not positive or productive.

Don’t get me wrong, it was tough!  However, I held on and lived my values no matter what.  Did I lose out on some opportunities?  Yes.   Was I ostracized?  Sometimes.  Was my career path slowed at times?  Sure.  But, I stayed true to ME!  And, every single day, without exception, I could look at myself in the mirror and sleep at night.

And, that was the difference!

So, be YOU and live your values no matter what!  It will help you maintain a sense of self and you’ll avoid defining yourself by your job or where you work.

Adapting to a company is important.  And, hopefully, you would find a company or organization that’s a good cultural fit for you based on your values.  Regardless, remember you always have the choice to be “IN” it but not “OF” it.  And, this philosophy doesn’t have to be shared with anyone.  It can be your private mantra that guides you and brings you peace, especially in moments of conflict or frustration.   

Azaan

Azaan

Goodbye my darling, Azaan

Have a safe journey home

You taught me so much

About Forgiveness

About Unconditional Love

About Friendship

About Loyalty

About Trust

You were such the perfect little companion and I'm so glad I had the privilege to spend so much time with you over this last year

I will miss you so much

I will always remember your loving gaze and your unrelenting desire to simply BE in my or another family member’s presence

You were such a great dog and my first (animal) love 

When you get to heaven, my Mom will be waiting for you with open arms.  Look for her and be patient for she's not used to having a canine companion.

I'll love you forever

"The Perfection of Imperfection"

“The Perfection of Imperfection”  By Sheila Thornton Warfield

With so many stimuli, it’s no wonder we are a population that’s always striving and pursuing lives envisioned by others.  If only we could wear blinders and embrace who we are, as is.  Imagine the peace from that!  I’m not saying we should be complacent.  I’m simply suggesting that we should accept and love the person we are now, imperfections and all.  Imagine living your life with a knowing that you are enough.  Sure, there will always be others who have more money, bigger houses, more possessions or those who might fit someone’s standard of beauty.  However, each and everyday, we can choose to Love who we are, as is, right now. 

This could mean that we limit or even eliminate our time around those who attempt to diminish us.  Or, those who simply bring out the worse in us as opposed to the best in us.  Be courageous and love yourself enough to create and live the life you want to live.  Wear blinders and accept you, for You!  When it comes to others, let them be who they are and accept where they might be on their own journeys, wherever that might be.   It will help you embrace what I call the “Perfection of Imperfection”.  Imagine the freedom from this! 

"Don't Quit"

“Don’t Quit”

When I was in undergrad, a good friend sent me a poster with the following inspiring poem.   I was so grateful for his thoughtfulness.  What I didn’t imagine at the time was the impact the words would have on my life.  In truth, the words in this poem have been a guiding light through which I have felt warmth and peace.  It constantly reminds me that ‘this to shall pass’ and to absolutely, never ever give up, no matter what.

“Don’t Quit”

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow---

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out---

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit…

It’s when things go wrong that you mustn’t quit.

---Author Unknown

Ever So Grateful

Ever So Grateful

There are so many things I’m grateful for going into “Thanksgiving”, especially for those things that money cannot buy, family and friends.  I’m so blessed to be surrounded my loving and supportive people.

The following is something that I wrote recently after speaking to my Grandfather who’s 93 and Fabulous!

“A Grandfather’s Love” 

As my Grand Father’s voice inflection rises as he realizes it’s me on the phone, my heart swells like all the other times I hear his voice.  I find it hard to control my emotions as I feel such love and respect.  He reminds me of what love is and always should be---acceptance, grace, joy, and pure delight.

My Grand Father is a model of Love and all things Family.  His zest for life, pride of being independent, sharp mind, and just his memory and love of me are all overwhelming.

Thank you, God, for gracing my life with My Grand Father and allowing me the opportunity to return love, acceptance and wonder.

"Are We Alone on Our Journeys" by Sheila Thornton Warfield

We walk on our journeys alone.

No matter how bad we would like others to join us or be with us, we are alone.

People intercept our paths at different points or even walk along closely with us on a parallel path----but we still journey alone.

Some of our loved ones will promise to meet us at a crossroad or walk along with us at a particular section---sometimes they show up and it’s great and, sometimes they don’t show up at all---and then we become disappointed, disillusioned, disenchanted

What’s true is that we are alone

Alone with our own feelings and interpretations

Alone, having the life experiences on our own personal path

Our only true partner and companion is GOD---HE's the constant

During those times on our journey when our vision is impaired because of pain and emotion, GOD is there, and our journey continues

We might want to stop or go back but only the ‘now’ and the promise of the future are left for us to create

With blurred vision, we need to muster up the confidence to take positive steps, always moving forward

We mustn’t succumb to self-pity or pain or ever give up

We must remain the captains of our own vessels and rejoice and appreciate when we have good company along the way

Most importantly, we must remember that GOD is always there and HE is enough

Do we walk on our journey alone?  No.

GOD is always present.

What I'd Like to Grow More in My Life

Two years ago, after my mother passed, "O" Magazine had a contest for readers.  It suggested that readers submit a statement, essay, etc. that explained what they would like to 'Grow More' in their lives.  While my submission didn't get published, I wanted to share it with others because I thought it was / is encouraging.  

I hope if offers you some peace in knowing that we are never alone when it comes to the trials and tribulations we encounter each and every day.  Let's remember to always be courageous and embrace the growth that feeds our transition.

"What I’d like to grow in my life?"   By Sheila T Warfield

To my surprise, I’d like to grow more courage.

I've become tender, safe and afraid.  It’s embarrassing to acknowledge this, but it’s true.  I don’t want to be afraid anymore.  So, I want, I need desperately to GROW more courage.

More courage to follow my heart.

More courage to find meaning in my life after losing my mother recently.

More courage to take the time to renew and pursue my own passions in spite of being a working mother and wife.

More courage to say ‘No’, ME first!

More courage to pursue a purpose outside of corporate America.

More courage to make the sacrifices and have the discipline to become healthier.

More courage to know Peace everyday.